tea . . .

Office Goers

2012-01-03T00:18:00.001-05:00

Ashen faces,

In rat races,

Uninspired,

Always tired,

Nine to six,

With a caffeine fix.

They're making a living,

But have forgotten to live.

Forest

2011-12-30T05:12:00.001-05:00

In the dark forest
We meditate,
Each at our usual spot.

The old man pretends to sleep,
While the young struggle to keep awake.

Weekend

2011-12-30T05:09:00.003-05:00

Little objects around the house
Tremble with fear
As the craft monster prowls
Searching for her weekend project

Battles

2011-12-22T07:33:00.001-05:00

I want never to win,
I want never to lose.
Every time we battle,
I want love to conquer our hearts.

Anger

2011-12-22T07:24:00.001-05:00

As the fiery winds of anger
Rage howling
Across the desert of your heart,
Wait patiently and watch.

Streams of catharsis
Will soon soothe and release
The nourishment hidden
Under this arid soil.

Wept

2011-12-22T07:14:00.001-05:00

Into mother's loving embrace,
Together we wept our hearts clean;
You and I,
Who have been foes for years,
But friends forever.

Na-insaafi

2011-12-22T07:09:00.001-05:00

Teri peed jayaz,
Meri sitam?

'Bahut na-insaafi hai'

Boardgame

2011-12-20T05:12:00.001-05:00

Do you not see, my friend,
That you and I are but pawns
On this boardgame of the gods,
Sparring with mirror images,
Rather than reflecting on shadows?

When the game is over
We will cuddle snugly together
In that warm dark box
Forgetting sides, battles and bruises.

Friend

2011-12-19T07:15:00.001-05:00

"Of course I will meet you, in time",
You'd said.
I wait and hope.
Years go by...

Fair Weather Friend

2011-12-05T06:52:00.001-05:00

When it starts to pour
Will you see
That I am crying,
And with your kisses
Turn the tears to jewels?

Like I said,
Seeing is believing.

Mirrors of Myself

2011-11-08T06:31:00.003-05:00

On the journey to self discovery,
I met so many selves
I no longer was.

Lord give me the strength
To forgive all that I see
In mirrors around me.

Aham

2011-11-06T12:31:00.001-05:00

Main hoon tum ho, tum ho main hoon
Kaise ye suljhayen paheli?
Main kahan gaya, tum kahan se aayee,
Rang raliyaan har kisi ne kheli.

Pii le pii le, jee bhar pii le;
Amrit pyaala bada nirala.
Jo koi phisla har ki paudi,
Doob, doob, fir ho gaya paar.
Ek baar ghar aaye ho,
Khaana khaake jaana yaar.

Doobna hi hai, aaj ya kal fir,
Dekho kab aaye sailab

Bhaaga Jaata Hai Dil

2011-11-06T12:27:00.002-05:00

Kahaan bhaaga jaata hai, dil?
Ruk to zara, main bhi aayee, main bhi aayee!

(dil says,)
Rokna na mujhe, tokna na mujhe
Yun hi haare hue boodhe aur bichhade
Sahi kya hai galat
Ye na jaane tumhe
Aayega kab samajh

Main to hoon manchala
Ghoomna hai kala
Samjhoge nahin
Yun hi baithe hue
Zara chhodo mujhe
Main hava hoon hava

(I say)
Arrey ruk to zaraa
Kahaan khoya hai tu?
Bada moya hai tu.
Zara dum bhar to loon
Tera jaata hai kya

(dil says)
Achha aata hoon chal,
Tu kahaan maanega.
Saath jaana hi hai
Haath thaama hi hai
Ab de muskura
Zaraa aaye mazaa

Friends

2011-11-04T05:07:00.001-05:00

Keepers of my heart,
Stay awesome!

Time Flies By

2011-11-03T06:54:00.002-05:00

Another year has whizzed past
Like a motorist on a freeway
While I pedal my bike leisurely
Enjoying the wind in my hair

"It's The End of The World"

2011-10-20T05:20:00.006-05:00

Holding hands
We used to stand
At the end of the street,
Calling it
The end of the world.

Who knew then,
It really was
The beginning of the end.

Conversations That Don't Work

2011-10-17T00:14:00.001-05:00

Plagiarised anecdotes
From lives lived
While mine was spent
Waiting for perfection

Sookhe Hue Phool

2011-10-14T05:18:00.005-05:00

With my heart open
And your heart closed
What kind of friendship shall ensue?

Of course,
You say I hurt you
And I say the same of you
But that is how
The story of hurt
Always goes, doesn’t it?

‘Abke hum bichade to fir shayad kabhi khwabon mein milein
Jis tarah sookhe hue phool kitabon mein melien’

Just Flow

2011-10-10T05:49:00.002-05:00

A river does not tire
Of flowing
Because it has no 'Goal',
But to flow...

Chasing

2011-09-09T03:01:00.000-05:00

Chasing false dreams,
I trip
Over true treasures.

I get up, curse,
And start chasing again
...

Chasing

2011-09-09T03:00:00.000-05:00

Chasing false dreams,
I trip
Over true treasures.

I get up, curse,
And start chasing again

...

After

2011-08-19T08:46:00.001-05:00

Your breath in my ears
Like waves on the shore.
We rest
After deep deep diving
Into the sea of love.

Creative?

2011-06-20T02:34:00.004-05:00

Flowing from source,
I write...
Magic when I find it.
Thirsty when I don’t.

Enough

2011-03-30T01:27:00.001-05:00

I believe in angels
I believe in love.

I believe that is enough.

Evening

2011-02-03T04:19:00.000-05:00

As my eyes strain
Through twilight visibility
Miracles from the invisible
Reveal themselves
To the corner of my eyes

Deliberate

2011-01-10T05:36:00.000-05:00

Maybe
Laying the background first,
Will set the tone
For the scene

Through life,
Through painting,
Deliberate

Cause and Effect Showers

2011-01-03T07:06:00.000-05:00

Calm in the knowledge
That I am the Source
Of all that happens
Today, Tomorrow and in years to come

I wade through today
Like murky waters left
After a heavy downpour yesterday
Wondering
What kind of pleasant drizzle
To create for tomorrow

Nostalgia

2010-11-19T00:07:00.001-05:00

Nostalgia covers me like a dark blanket
On a cold morning
I emerge
Reluctantly
A baby from an egg shell

Friends, Lovers and People who...

2010-10-15T05:04:00.003-05:00

Friends, lovers and people who smile on the street
Soul-mates from near and far
Warm the heart
And heal the soul
One crumbly bit at a time.

Much like a chocolate fondue,
Life is delicious.

Old Loves

2010-07-02T01:56:00.000-05:00

Like a paper boat
On a stream
Let them go.

Gently,
With love in your heart,
But without expectation of ever returning.

Saturn Returns

2010-06-29T07:29:00.003-05:00

As I approach,
The dawn of my soul,
I wish for a moment’s pause
Kiss the night farewell
Before the sun rises
Again

‘Thodi si raat aur hai
Subaha to hone do’

Time Stops

2010-06-25T07:05:00.001-05:00

We crave
So often,
For moments
When the speed of time
Suddenly slows down
And stops.

And in that timeless moment,
Our soul is full
And all is truth.
Nothing really matters.

And then,
The wheel of time
Starts to turn again...

Pyaar (Love)

2010-05-31T03:51:00.004-05:00

Dher saara pyar
Karne ke baad
Tumhari garm baahon mein
Pighal jaati hoon main.
Aur 'dul' kar tumhare seene par,
Jaise gud ki dali,
Tumhari saanson mein ghul jaati hoon main.

English:

I melt
Into your warm arms
After making love, aplenty.
I spill over on your chest,
And like a dollop of molten jaggery,
Dissolve into your breath.

Step 1: Loose yourself, Step 2: Find yourself

2010-05-31T03:40:00.003-05:00

There is a time to loose yourself
In the arms of another.
And there is a time
To find yourself again.

Search, search... those quiet back-alleys
Till you find the pieces you lost somewhere
Hidden with treasures
Undiscovered still.

You have it all, just look
In the deepest recesses
Of your soul.

Infinite Love

2010-05-31T03:37:00.002-05:00

Love means having all the patience in the world.

Allow them their frustrations,
Their journeys,
And the discoveries
No one else can make for them.

And allow yourself
Your own.

The pieces will all fit in the end.

Fight

2010-05-17T05:32:00.002-05:00

You take a few punches
And throw a few yourself.

Then you shake your jaw.
Left and right, and curse.
Then you spit, laugh and go home.

You hug the person you love,
Eat, laugh, make love, sleep.
And heal.

Tomorrow is another day.

Naked

2010-05-17T05:29:00.001-05:00

Take off your clothes
Those rough memories of a dry day
And let the soothing magic of the night
Caress the real you

Swept

2010-04-08T04:06:00.001-05:00

Swept off my feet
By a massive tide
From a pure heart.
My tears of gratitude
Are but a drop
In the ocean of love
That I bob in,
Joyous and free.

Forgive Logic

2010-04-06T04:13:00.000-05:00

Forgive logic
For not being able
To relish the pleasures
Of just being.

Wave Whispers

2010-04-06T04:09:00.002-05:00

Pebble beach
You spill
So many of your secrets
To me.

I wish I could
Make you hear
My excuses and complaints
But thankfully,
My breaths aren't
As strong as
Your own reassuring waves.

Break

2010-03-25T05:03:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a tide surges within you
And destroys something you’ve held precious for so long.
You grieve and writhe in pain,
You want to throw up, cry, scream and break things.
And you do, but continue to feel destroyed
Until you learn
It was really a great blessing
And learn to be grateful for it all.

Empty Moon

2010-03-15T00:57:00.001-05:00

On a new moon night
We stay up late
Emptying out of our hearts
The last dregs of conversation
Even as our voices fray weak
And eyelids grow heavy
With sleep…

We blink in the dark
As words become balm,
Then sword,
Then balm again, endlessly…
We wipe the occasional tear, finally.

As the moon empties itself
And faces its shadow
Maybe, we are too.
Tomorrow is a new day.

Release

2010-03-05T03:32:00.000-05:00

Tears roll
Like kids running down a slope
From nowhere to nowhere
Escaping captivity, control, behaviour.

This Weekend

2010-03-05T03:31:00.001-05:00

Time to mount
A new canvas on my easel
And move the old one
Into the store.

Lost lids off paints
And a spilled jar of brushes
Could all be signs
Saying ‘Paint some more’.

Nostalgia

2010-03-03T07:15:00.001-05:00

Daydreams run, like fluid,
Into the crevices of memory
Where a different me
Has been hiding from itself
All along

Outdated

2010-02-26T06:38:00.001-05:00

Fraught with the truth
My ship feels like dead weight
Over an illusory sea

Insomnia

2010-02-25T03:17:00.002-05:00

Restless rustles
Of the infinite mind
Keep me awake,
Even as
My tired eyes
Try to sleep

Fool's Gold

2010-02-16T05:12:00.000-05:00

A gold rush
And everyone’s in
Stampeding to success
Or at least the illusion of it

But what is wealth to me
May not be wealth to you

So we travel silently together
Holding our dreams like cupped flames
As the shimmering sandstorms
Of fool’s gold dust
Blind our vision
Of ourselves

Jaise phool, kitabon mein milein

2010-01-28T03:50:00.002-05:00

I could wait for you all day, all year,
And you may never return
To say what I want to hear.

Angry love letters never sent
Are worse heartbreaks
Than tears spent.

Distant

2010-01-21T07:39:00.001-05:00

Incandescent with silent rage,
You char slowly within.
I don't even hear a crackling.

Quarrel

2010-01-21T07:19:00.003-05:00

May be in another life
You and I will finish this fight,
And be friends
Once again.

If you won't speak to me,
Let the tokri remain upturned
Until next time...

Looking back

2009-11-25T08:16:00.000-05:00

10 years have passed,
And I look back
At the roads I chose
And those I didn’t.

Its poignant, of course
‘Could’ve been’s,
Letters written but never sent

I’ve come so far
From who I used to be.
Bridges to possibilities:
Burnt

I’m happy where I am
But sometimes,
We wonder
What if…

Creative?

2009-11-23T03:43:00.001-05:00

Creative soul
Speaks to Silent soul,
In hushed whispers,
“Shall I?”

The response,
of course,
is silence.

‘The lips of wisdom are sealed
Except to the ears of understanding’

Dragonflies and Butterflies

2009-11-23T00:32:00.003-05:00

Dragonflies and butterflies have been appearing from nowhere, as if whispering some sublime secret - a reminder of the fairy realm.

The last couple of days, they always seem to fly straight in front of me from right to left. Wonder what that means...

Dragonflies and butterflies
Speak their secret language
Silently.
'The lips of wisdom
Are sealed
Except to the ears of understanding'

The Magic

2009-11-12T03:29:00.004-05:00

This piece came to me in an interesting process. First just the words, without meaning or sentences. They felt right – I cut them up and collected them in a cup. Then the colour. I washed it on to the white and placed the lotus on one side.

Then I poured the ‘words’ in the cup on to the sheet and began pasting them, thinking only about the word at hand. No form or meaning or sentences – just a zen-like focus on the present word.

It was a great exercise in trust.

The Magic

Listening with our Mind, Body and Wisdom,
Understanding the infinite everyday,
We continue to seek
The truth.

The whole thing of being human
Lies hidden
In reconnecting.

We begin a journey to believe.
We experience and feel wisdom.
The source,
Truth made complete.

Feel the magic within,
Spirit complete in itself.

Space Time Miracle

2009-11-05T01:45:00.000-05:00

A shear
In the heavy fabric of time;
Space shifts, finding its grounding
As if adjusting its weight on a different foot.
Such is the unstoppable force of a miracle.

Soul Searching

2009-10-23T06:16:00.001-05:00

Where do I go
To find my soul sisters
When my own soul
Hides from me

Chasing Dreams

2009-10-22T23:54:00.000-05:00

Chasing dreams
Not my own,
In endless searing dunes
Mirage after mirage of happiness
While the real nectar eludes me

Is this it?
No.
Then what is?

Sandstorms

2009-09-11T02:12:00.001-05:00

Wading through sandstorms
Of everyday bustle
I glimpse you, and lose you
Then glimpse you again,
And lose you again.

A glimpse of your smile
Makes the sandstorm worthwhile.

Conquer, Anger

2009-08-23T23:57:00.000-05:00

“He who angers you
Conquers you”, I read,
And yet,
The heart would rather
Be conquered than cold

Soul Friends

2009-08-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

Deep into the night
Conversations of heart and soul
With an old friend.
Sleepless with weary eyes
Content with a warm heart

Rain Pebble

2009-08-19T00:08:00.009-05:00

Rain Pebble was the Shamanic name suggested for me. I connected with it perfectly.

Allow
A pebble in the rain,
I allow myself
To just be
Joyous,
Purposeless
And completely ecstatic

How perfect to just allow ourselves to be.

BTW, I suggested the creative prompt, "allow" to One Single Impression and they are featuring it the coming week. Thank you OSI :-)

The Stranger

2009-07-27T03:21:00.003-05:00

I do not know the person,
Who stares back at me from the mirror.

‘Who are you?’, I ask,
But he doesn’t know either.

So we stare,
Silently,
Into each other’s eyes,
Until we don’t know ourselves anymore.
Only the other.

Thanks OSI.

Fragrance

2009-07-27T03:09:00.003-05:00

Memories

You waft in the air,
A warm summer breeze,
And bring me back,
The curtains drawn,
On a sleepy afternoon room.
And other treasures, of course,
Only you and I share.

Thanks OSI.

Walls

2009-06-22T00:37:00.003-05:00

Semi-permeable walls
That allow some of me
To be shared.
Not all,
But enough.

How

2009-05-27T05:47:00.003-05:00

A flower blossoms,
And turns to fruit.
The fruit ripens,
Into someone's food.
Maybe,
The soul develops similarly...

Plant

2009-03-25T03:38:00.003-05:00

On the stairs up to my office
Is a plant.
It’s not happy.
It’s not sad.
It just is.
I wish I were that plant.

Cirlcular

2009-03-06T04:42:00.002-05:00

A beautiful inward circle
Like a stairwell seen from high up
That takes me on a journey
Within

Spectre

2009-02-17T09:01:00.003-05:00

Spectre: That which appears…

The lines between the real and the ethereal blur
As I shift my focus
Now I see them, now I don’t.
The beings from beyond
Hold my heart securely in place

And then I remember a friend’s words…

“Tuning in and out of reality”,
A friend says about my eyes
These ancient wells of truth
Hold the secret to my soul.
Maybe someday, I will learn to see
Deeply into my own eyes

Angel

2009-02-13T06:31:00.001-05:00

This angel offers holy water at the church I visit almost every day. The walk to the church is an zen-ful experience. I notice every sight, sound and sensation. These days the weather is especially romantic with the warm sun and cool breeze. Those ten minutes of peace in the middle of the day helps me centre myself and re-connect with the flow.

Movement

2009-02-10T05:39:00.008-05:00

This week's One Single Impression prompt is ‘Movement’.

So here’s a haiku about the inner movement I’ve been experiencing lately:

As the winged beings
Pour their light into me,
Old Me and New Me
Look into each others’ eyes.
Real Me watches silently
At this manthan* of my soul

*churning.

Click here for Sagar Manthan: The Churning of the (Inner) Ocean.

Time Passes

2009-02-09T05:51:00.007-05:00

Time passes
As we sleep through life
And when we wake
Life has passed us by

On a Sunday afternoon we linger at the table long after brunch. We talk about the choices we've made in our short lives and, honestly, about the regrets we've accumulated. Already.

Reminiscing times past, like images in a rear view mirror; we can't turn around, but we wish we could. Enchanting. Poignant. Gone.

P.S. I didn't realize at the time of writing that this post also fits into this week's Illustration Friday prompt, "Time". What a synchronicity!

Slowly

2009-02-04T09:26:00.004-05:00

Wow, so finally I am participating in a weekly prompt forum. I just discovered one today that offers prompts for poetry and haiku. Its called One Single Impression.

This week's prompt is 'slowly'. So here's what I wrote:

Slowly
Slowly,
We ease each other
Into our lives.
Ever so slowly.
You and I become one
In a dance
That unfolds over time
There's no rush.
Love happens
Slowly...

Roots

2009-02-02T06:26:00.003-05:00

Recently I've been having dreams about the small town I grew up in. Something about the past that occasionally just ...tugs at me. My parents planted this gulmohar tree when we moved into the house that they still live in. My brother and I have both grown up and left the nest but the tree remains 'planted'.

Just add hot water!

2008-06-12T02:27:00.008-05:00

"The way a man plays a game shows some of his character. The way he loses shows all of it."

This week I had to muster some forgiveness for someone who didn’t necessarily see things the way I did and refused to show compassion and generosity in a situation where it would cost him nothing (above quote because I thought that this person was a sore looser).

For those of us who hold lofty ideals for the world, narrow mindedness is a slap in the face – a reality check.

It is also an exercise in being non-judgmental; for if I refuse to see things from the perspective of this person, wouldn’t that make me narrow minded myself.

"We should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it." ~ Abraham Lincoln

And was it Eleanor Roosevelt who said something about being like a tea bag – showing strength in hot water?

This blog was once called ‘Tea Leaves ‘n’ Honey’ because I would write my thoughts as gathered over a morning cuppa.

ER’s quote, however, gives it a new meaning.

P.S. Here’s the tea ritual I indulge in every morn:

Rinse my (beloved) ceramic kettle. * Fill it with water (and occasionally add some chopped ginger). Gaze out of the window at the horizon while it comes to a boil
Add a teaspoon of tea leaves and let it stand for a minute (another opportunity for horizon gazing)
Strain into mug
Add two spoonfuls of honey
Stir
Savour and drift away into the horizon and beyond

Prisoners

2008-05-03T05:14:00.004-05:00

Prisoners in our own delight;
We walk,
Lonely jungles through the night.
You alone.
I alone.
Separately, we shudder in darkness,
But do not enter
Another’s light.

We are all prisoners to our own ego, ever so often. Even as I wrote the poem the awareness dawned upon me that people only perpetrate abuse / attack because they are shrouded by the illusion of separation. Who will you taunt, bully, hurt if you see nothing but yourself when you look into my eyes?

Pursuit...

2008-04-05T06:31:00.009-05:00

“Yoon milay ki mulakat ho na saki,
Honth kaampey magar baat ho na saki”

As I stand at yet another crossroads of my life, I allow myself to dream. I even go so far as to believe in that dream and then… I wake up to reality!

“Don’t do that…” my soul sister cries, “You’re my hero!”

“Well”, I think to myself, “then I must be a hero whose time hasn’t come”

And yet, the more I play with the idea, the less it feels like a sell out. For some reason, I’m being asked to discover my grounding right here where I am. To find my true self and express it no matter what. To connect with my highest truth and to channel into the earth’s current vibration. That my time to contribute is now and the place (unlike how I or anyone who’s known me imagined it) is right here. My truest learning now will be to overcome judgment. Esp. that in my own head.

And my strength is not in following my imagination, anyway – it is in trusting my inner voice. And this is what my inner voice says right now. It feels right.

P.S. This Archangel link has given me some much needed strength and clarity. I have been practicing the invocation on this page almost daily for the last week or so and I feel totally empowered and serene. I would love to hear your experiences.

A burst of feminine

2008-01-07T14:12:00.002-05:00

Interesting that i absentmindedly wrote the date as then months into the future... Hmm a worthy goal to work through the year, i'm sure!

Poems

2007-10-12T09:13:00.002-05:00

Love floats through the Universe
Eternally

I only put it down
So I can savour it

Observer

2007-08-16T09:49:00.001-05:00

I march through the world
As a one man army

Many battles are won and lost
Victories that go to my head
And defeats that I take to heart

But the soul is another matter completely
Untainted glory that invisibly connects me
To the purest part of me.

Bombay Monsoon

2007-07-07T08:56:00.003-05:00

When you live in a place as wet as Bombay, you have only two choices – get cranky or find a sense of beauty: love ‘em or hate ‘em, you just can't ignore the Bombay monsoons!

While I had my moment of disappointment with muddy tap water this morning, on my walk from office to train station this evening I was… how do we put it… indulged!

Hence, these two poems:

Rain falls in slo-mo
As hutments, garbage and mills
Whir past in the back-ground
I breathe Mumbai in
And exhale a little bit of myself
A kind lady
Smiles at me in the train
And I smile back
Only in Mumbai…

And here’s the second one:

Placing my footsteps in a rainy slush
What a blessing it is
To watch where I’m going
A meditation
Just watching each step
Not worrying about the journey
Aur kya chahiye?

I guess the secret to enjoying where you are and even who you are is releasing the feeling of victimization and holding a sense of adventure. Romance is in the eye of the beholder!

Pride and Prejudice... Who Needs Them Anyway

2007-06-05T14:44:00.002-05:00

The underlying message of the rather…well, queer events of the last couple of weeks seems to be to stay alert for synchronicities. For the uninitiated, synchronicities are either intuitions or mysterious coincidences that appear ever so subtly to lead one on their life’s path. The last few weeks have provided points of reference that will allow me to stay in sync. (And that is how we convert energy and gain experienceJ.)

So following the sync, I found an insight whose time had come. And it’s this – A person needs to deal with their insecurities themselves. And often, its ok to admit that there’s nothing I can do to help them.

I recently discovered the root of years of sarcasm by ‘someone’ (like always I use vagueness to protect sentiments). It made me look back at others with insecurities including, at times, myself.

And there is one conclusion to be drawn - All the humility in the world cannot conquer another person’s inferiority. Nor can any amount of class suppress another’s superiority. The wise thing to do is to step out of the game (leave the drama to the soaps… puhleez!).

This can only be done when one is not tending towards either humility or pride. Really they have no meaning but for canceling each other out. So where there is no pride, there is no need for humility. And when one doesn’t feel small in anyway there is certainly no need to prove (or improve) oneself.

It’s a sigh of relief to be able to see these things. Perspective allows you to step out of the frame and view the picture from outside. That’s a precious kind of freedom.

Flow...

2007-05-24T06:11:00.008-05:00

Ink flows on to paper
As thoughts flow out in words

Tales are told, a song is sung
Infinite mystery remains hidden
In the depths of my soul

The sands of time shift
One grain at a time

Fog of War

2007-05-23T13:49:00.002-05:00

The colours of my heart
Elude me
And I am lost
As if in a fog

‘The fog of war’
I hear someone say
And although I feel the attack
I don’t know who I fight

Status : Away

2007-05-10T16:59:00.002-05:00

Those of you, my beloved readers who have missed me, despair no more, for I shall return to action. I am simply deep into one of my frequent hibernation rituals.

Like I say (or did I hear it somewhere?) – There is a time for action and there is a time for in(ner) action.

“When the tide is in, ride the wave,
When the tide is out, collect the shells.”

So inner churnings have kept me occupied these last few days. Of course, there were exams too but, if you know me, that is usually reason to write even more.

Also, the last couple of weeks have been spent away from home (no, not on holiday). And now just as I was beginning to get settled (enough to write this post), its time to go back home again. Sometimes we are put in a box with people so that we learn to love them. And when we do learn, we are separated so that we learn detachment. Ah! The delicate balance…

But then again, the human process is about finding, losing, and re-finding that very balance. Once we’re masters of the process we would transcend beyond human existence. So I guess, might as well enjoy the ride while we’re in it.

This blog would certainly do well with some fresh energy. I’ve been thinking of changing its look for sometime now. So in that sense, as my own being is refreshed by the end of this hibernation, you will find a reflection of that change on this blog too.

There’s no time line as the ritual works purely on reflex. You’ll probably know that the chrysalis effect is complete when you witness me emerge from my cocoon.

Until then, I’ll have you know that my status is ‘Away’.

On the Wings of Angels

2007-05-01T06:08:00.003-05:00

Carried on the wings of angels
I glide over my troubles.
Like a bird glides
Without even flapping wings

Friends rescue me
Over and over
From my own self

They are not my tonic
They are food itself…

The last week or so has been…well, it’s been trying. The world can be ruthless and frigid (which explains my head-cold) and often we ourselves lay the groundwork for it. And yet, where there should’ve been struggle, frustration and dejection I feel warmed by love and gratitude. Ah! To have love and friendship…The sweetest gifts of all!

"War, What is It Good For?"

2007-04-24T16:00:00.003-05:00

Like Arjun,
I waver.
My heart reaches out,
Before my arrow,
Or at least,
Alongside of it.

Is He not in your actions,
Or in my heart?

Is it love or weakness,
That brings me to doubt?

“War, what is it good for?”

"Be brave", I tell myself,
Like my father taught me.
Be Brave!

It’s been a tiring two days. I’ve tried to write my way out of the chaos but found that my mind was too fogged over by emotions to think clearly.

So, like always, I let poetry speak. Best simply to express feelings – some things cannot be conquered by reason.

Final Exams - An End and A Beginning

2007-04-20T08:55:00.004-05:00

Exams start tomorrow - Final exams. No, not just year end or course end exams – post graduation exams; this may well be the end of academics as I’ve known it…Phew!

It’s been happy at times and sad, hurtful, anxious and even traumatic at several occasions. But more than anything, the last 25 years have been educational. (No, not talking about studies here, learning has been a completely different chapter of my life.)

Don’t get me wrong, though. I mean not to complain, just reminisce. I chose the experience – and I’m proud of how much I’ve gathered. Memories make a priceless treasure chest.

It’s been poignant, anyway… Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees, like the song goes.

My friend, the Kooks, kept asking me, “Are these the last exams of your life?”

I don’t know why these little things matter so much to her. (Because I really didn’t have the answer I just replied, “I guess I’ll know that only at the end of my life.”)

Academics might just end here. Exams of life – Now, that’s another story altogether…

I look forward to a new phase and as I approach a threshold of my life, the past slowly falls away and I can already glimpse of the new world I’m poised to step into. It will be a new beginning.

Sure I don’t feel like studying for these exams and am stalling it as much as possible, surfing my fave sites and doing random bits of housework (even taking a nap). Heck, I’d stall even if I did feel like studying – why ruin the tradition of a long and very arduous 25 year journey?

Altruism vs. Materialism - May God Give Us The Courage

2007-04-18T09:27:00.009-05:00

Sometime back my friend Avanti wrote a blog post on the impracticality of Gandhian values i our times. The following are some lines from her blog post:

"It is highly unfortunate but most of Gandhian values have lost their importance in today’s world. The theory … essentially makes you think about others. When would you do that? When your stomach is full …Today altruism is dead because resources are scarce.

Corporate houses with huge turnovers doing CSR is a buzzword today… if any of these head honchos is asked to give up their opulent lifestyle … they shall outright refuse it.

In a country like India... where more than half the population is below the poverty line, such a concept is difficult to digest."

I felt I just had to respond so my comments are below:

Dear Avanti,

Gandhi lived in times of poverty and scarcity that we as children of free India in the new millennium can hardly even imagine. Yet he not only spoke about but demonstrated an altruism and selflessness so great that he is the most timeless and inspiring figure in the history of the nation. Even in today’s popular entertainment he stirs our hearts like no other (ref. to Munna Bhai Lage Raho).

The condition for altruism is not abundance of resources – it is principles. Principles and values are not something that a corporate organisation talks about after it has made ample profits – that is PR. Principles, on the other hand, are the way individuals act and the choices they make in times of crisis and scarcity – it takes, not a full stomach like you put it, but balls of steel. William Sleeman in his ‘Journey Through Oudh’ writes, “I have had before me hundreds of cases in which a man’s property, liberty or life depended on his telling a lie; and he has refused to tell it.”

On a more personal note, I really don’t know enough about how “head honchos” would behave if they were brought to the street and had to sleep n the gutter. But what I know for sure is the altruism and unselfish love that I have received from people in the most modest of situations. I know people who have had, like they say, a single roti to eat and yet have given me half of it. It’s easy to claim, “when it’s my turn to give I shall do so and so” or “when I have enough I will reform the world in such n such a way”. But the transition from receiver to giver is not one of ascending over the poverty line – it is a shift in perspective. Is our glass really half empty?

Or is it our fear driven worldview that creates this illusion of Scare City!

And (someone) once said that a person’s heart is inversely proportional to the size of their house.

Finally, I feel our generation gives in to compromise and convenience too often. And we use the words, “today’s materialistic world” as a blanket excuse to get rid of our guilt.

But is the world itself a materialistic or altruistic place – or is it what you and I make it? How about this quote for a parting thought:

"We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are." -Anais Nin

No One But You - A Love Song

2007-04-17T05:17:00.003-05:00

Who cries…
Who cries with me
Shares my teardrop
Eases my misery
Who cries
Who cries
With me

Who loves
And lives with me
Shares every laughter
‘N every fantasy
Who cries
Who cries
With me

Who lies
Here close to me
Lies here in silence
So very close to me
Who cries
Who cries
With me

Who dies
Who dies with me
And lives for ever
In eternity
Who cries
Who cries
With me

In Your Arms

2007-03-31T01:10:00.002-05:00

This morning I was reminded of this love poem that I had written when learning German.

In Ihren Armen
In Ihren Armen (In your arms)
Schwebe ich (I drift away)
Und träume (And dream)
Von Ihnen flüsternd, (Of you whispering)
‘Ich Liebe dich’ (‘I love you’)

A Simple Meditation

2007-03-10T05:00:00.003-05:00

Try this meditation…

Sit in a comfortable and quiet place. Assume a relaxed position with your lower back supported. This exercise is best done on an empty stomach, empty bowels and following mild exercise (yogic or any other).

Begin with a silent prayer to God Almighty. Relax all your muscles and entrust God with anything that may be on your mind.

Start by centering yourself either by the practice of Anulom Vilom Pranayama or by invoking Reiki or simply by following the natural breathing pattern with awareness.

When you feel centered and still, begin by taking your awareness to the inside of your body. Visualize the inside of the body as a vast empty space. In order to still the mind you can visualize a candle flame or a feather gently falling or create any other peaceful image inside this inner space.

Now, take your awareness to the centre of your pelvic cavity – the pit of your stomach. This is the sacral chakra or the lunar plexus. If you wish, say a silent prayer to the moon. The sacral chakra holds our feelings and intuitions. Give thanks to your sacral chakra. Observe this chakra for as long as you wish.

Observe the rest of the body and be open to what may emerge from this vast universe inside you. Hidden feelings or wisdom? Healing whose time has come? A long lost memory? Or just a quiet stillness…

Allow the experience to flow without resistance or judgment. If you have an unexpected memory or vision, allow it to play out its full course (like a movie) without resisting anything. Trust your inner wisdom and give thanks to the experience regardless of weather it was pleasant or unpleasant.

If you are not sure what to do with your visions or feelings, silently ask God to guide you. Then allow your mind to grow still once again. Usually, the guidance will spontaneously pop into the mind. Go with the flow and give thanks for the experiences.

Ask God to keep you nourished and protected in every way.

Prayerfully invoke the violet flame to burn up and transform any emotional or spiritual garbage that you find. Ask the violet flame to cleanse any vibrations that you may have picked up that aren’t really yours. The violet flame also purifies us by resolving all karma.

With a prayer, you can also invoke the violet flame for another person if you wish. Work in the direction of God’s will and have faith.

Allow the purifying violet flame to work as long as you wish. Visualize a sparkling clean inner self.

Give thanks.

Visualize a protective pillar of light descending around you and ask that you remain pure and protected in every way.

At any time, allow your experience to guide you.

When you feel complete, emerge slowly from this deep state by moving your fingers and toes. Gently opening the eyes, take your awareness simultaneously to the inner stillness and to your surroundings.

Finally, as you emerge from the deep awareness, give thanks to the room and to all your surroundings.

N.B. The violet flame is a powerful blessing that can be invoked by anyone. It deeply purifies our being in every way – emotionally, spiritually and karmically – even physically.

When working with powerful energies it is always advisable invoke a white shield that protects from outside influences.

Cascade of Joy

2007-03-05T01:24:00.004-05:00

“Cascade of Joy” is the soul name that we found for Nandan several years ago.

How appropriate!

Here is a poem I wrote for him sometime back:

My heart leaps
To embrace
The joy of your being.
Eyes well up
In love
When I see you again
And spontaneously
We break into a joyful dance
Beautiful, joyful, playful soul
Wonderful perfect being
My heart overflows with love
Cascade of joy.

There is ever more joy as he is finally coming of age and beginning to explore his full being.

Angels

2007-03-03T03:51:00.004-05:00

Everyday I am moved
By wings, fluttering
That hold me and my heart
In place

Everyday I am touched
By prayers, and answers
That shift my life a little
And breathe soundly
Of love

Everyday I am loved
By hearts above in the sky
That pour out their wishes
On my grateful being

Part human part divine
I am blessed everyday
To be enjoying this experience
Of human life

I wrote this poem some years ago when I was just beginning to experience the miracles of angels and archangels.

Two Poems Churned Out

2007-02-23T02:29:00.003-05:00

Teardrop
A lonesome droplet
From an ancient heartbreak
Emerges
From a kohl-lined eye
For in the heart of a warrior
Is a vulnerable child

Soul Mates
I loved you a hundred years ago
And a hundred years from now when I see you again
Once again I shall be in love.
It’s the same
Meeting of souls, after eons or moments
It doesn’t really matter.
Perhaps, this is what they mean by timelessness…

Okay, so like Karen said, these blasts of light that are swooping the planet are shaking up a lot of old settled energies. So much is being released. And all the baggage that I’ve been carrying around for ever got reduced first to a small hand purse and now to a little potli (change purse).

The above poems just popped into my mind this morning, like a sudden blossoming of flowers. I suppose they capture the way the heart heals with a love song after tears have washed away painful memories.

There is much to be grateful for.

A Heartsong...

2007-02-17T10:05:00.002-05:00

I wrote this today:

Kuchh sawalon ke jawab, itne asaan nahin hote...
Kaun suljhaye mere dil ki uljhan?
Bhaga jata hai, yun bekhabar, naadan.
Mere geet yun goonjte hain sannate mein,
Mano kahin gane wala hi gum ho gaya hai…

The answer followed:

So many answers I find in you.
More than I need, I am blessed with.
It’s a shower of mercy
And I stand here, drenched.
I am grateful. I am grateful. I am grateful…

Since the indulgence today seems to be poetry, let us also savour one by Rumi:

By day I praised you and never knew it
By night I stayed with you and never knew it
I always thought that I was me – but no
I was you and never knew it.

Rumi, Rumi, sweet intoxicating Rumi…. Fresh as a dew drop, gentle as moonlight and as timeless as the truth of my soul... Poetry beyond praise - that is Rumi!

Pensive...

2007-02-16T04:23:00.002-05:00

“Solitude is sweet, my friend,
But grant me still a friend in my retreat
To whom I may whisper,
‘Solitude is sweet’ “

I read this verse over ten years ago (and have forgotten the poet’s name since). And while I have moved from feeling alone-in-a-crowd to being a self-imposed loner, the poetry rings as true to my heart today as it did all those years ago. I suppose the heart oscillates between moments of sadness and joy, clarity and confusion… averaging around the happiness quotient that we allow ourselves guilt-free. A pensive me from many years ago.

Here is another verse that I am reminded of; one I wrote on anotherpensive Sunday afternoon a few years ago as I sat alone in a crowded café watching the world whir past me.

Little joys, perhaps,
Are being evened out by these
Little sadnesses that linger on. The ruins of my innocent heart…

Its funny - this tendency to create cyclical experiences, always returning to a mean. Richer, of course, but back to base camp for a much needed repose. A time to take stock, and start over. I suppose this verse that I read yesterday (at nvisible.com) brings a sense of meaning to these crazy ups and downs:

“When the tide is in, ride the wave
When the tide is out, collect the shells”